Celebrating One, With Bubble Bath Fun!

Baby Girl turned ONE a month and a half ago. I can’t believe how long ago that already is and feels, and how quickly her first year went by. We had a wonderful celebration with family and friends. First birthday parties are special in our family. They are one of the big, everyone-is-invited celebrations. I promise Matt that subsequent birthday parties come around to or under the ten-kid limit. But there is something special about our children’s first birthdays (and their naming ceremonies :-)) that I feel should be celebrated with our wider community. Perhaps it’s just that we survived haha! But truly, there is so very much to celebrate in a baby’s first year … from the tiny instinctive movements of grasping fingers to running and climbing everywhere, what a huge leap in development, in change, in life. 

I make a birthday photo book for each child for every birthday and I think it really helps to capture and remind me all that has happened in the past year, and how much these beautiful children have grown. In addition to the pictures, this is the place where I jot down all the baby book stuff ... teeth popping through, developmental milestones like rolling over, crawling, walking, first words and favorites. One of Aviella’s favorites this past year has been bubble baths. So I knew I had to do her birthday party in a bubble bath theme.

But bubble baths … in October … in a drought ... in a park?! Yeah, it’s weird. I leaned heavily on the bubble aspect since I couldn’t very well invite everyone over to actually splash around in a real bubble bath. But I tried to include some bath themes where I could. I think she had fun despite the need to stretch the theme :-)

This was our first park birthday party … I’m not convinced it’s easier than at home haha. It was absolutely lovely being able to start the party with the house a complete disaster haha but I found it challenging to schlep everything over to a park, even one that was so close. Took numerous cars and numerous trips, and extended family helped with the schlepping back! And having to remember every little thing—matches, cake cutter, extra folding chairs, and having no extra time to set up. That was hard for this planner who likes to have things set and ready well before go-time. But no matter, even with the napkins covering the food because the flies were a nuisance and the bubble balloon bath quickly making its way to a car trunk since the babies discovered how much fun it could be to bite the balloons, there was sun, friends, family, older siblings racing around and younger ones jumping in bubbles and laughing, and Baby Girl was smiling the entire time. 

Thank you to everyone who helped celebrate our very special girl. Any tips for park parties in the future? Kalev's is just 2 weeks away now! Boy is fall busy!

Happy Birthday Aviella!

A very special thanks to Megan Pimentel for the beautiful pictures of Aviella. You can tell which ones they are because they are so much clearer than my iphone ones haha!

Menu: pasta salad bubble bath, fruit bubbles, cheese bubble & crackers, Israeli cous cous bubble salad, pink lemonade, pink lemonade + ice cream bubble bath punch, water

Easy peasy decorations: fabulous Aviella banner made by the wonderful Diana for Aviella's naming ceremony, jars with pink ribbon, pink runner over white tablecloth, clear plastic Christmas ornaments to look like bubbles on the table, a few rubber duckies, and pink balloons, of course

Bubble bath cake inspiration: CakeCentral

Bubble bath cake bubbles how-to: Globalpost

Bubble favors: Maison de Pax

Chocolate cake recipe: Add A Pinch

Buttercream frosting, per Matt's request: Martha Stewart (of course!)

Cheesy Cauliflower and Brown Rice Casserole

This is the most amazing recipe I discovered and adapted from the Sprouted Kitchen months and months ago. It may sound kinda weird but everyone I've made it for loves it, including the baby, the kid, grandma, and my mother-in-law. A winner definitely!

I adapted it from the Sprouted Kitchen recipe to make it simpler, faster and to use fewer ingredients. I also discovered that if your husband ate the brown rice you had saved in the fridge just for this meal you can totally use frozen black eyed peas instead! Say what? Totally random but Matt looked through our fridge and freezer and that's all he came up with and since I don't believe in going to the grocery store for one last minute forgotten ingredient we tried it and it was a total hit! And probably healthier since it added all the goodness of a legume, all that protein etc etc.

To make this dish, grab your cutting board and cauliflower. Rinse the cauliflower and use your fine grater microplane to shave off any dark spots. Did you know you could do that? Super easy. Another brilliant Matt idea. Cut the cauliflower in half, then cut the florets off. Now get your almost four year old and put him to work breaking those florets into small pieces. You can leave them as chunky as you want but I've realized I like most of my food in small bite sizes so I can scoop a spoonful of the finished product and be good to go, no cutting with a fork or whatnot. After the pieces are broken and put into a microwave safe bowl you microwave it for about 4 minutes. I know, I know, boo yucky microwave. You can totally steam them on the stove instead. But when I'm entertaining a four year and have the baby on my hip or trying to get into the dog food at my feet, I opt for speed when I can and when it doesn't seriously compromise the health or taste of the food.

Once you prep your cauliflower, add your leftover brown rice to the cauliflower and mix. You can make fresh rice too of course but this meal is perfect for using up older rice.

Now for your super rich and tasty sauce: add your diced onion to the melted butter in your pan and sauté until tender. If you don't have any red onion using a regular onion is totally fine. It's a great way to use the other half of an onion that often finds it's way into our fridge. Add the minced garlic and cook until you smell that amazing aroma. Is there really anything better than onions and garlic sautéing in butter? Yum! I find most recipes tell you to add the garlic when you add your onion but the onion takes so much longer than the garlic to cook. And no one likes burnt garlic! When the garlic is ready add your flour and salt and pepper and stir for a couple minutes. You want that flour to be cooked. Then slowly add your milk, a little at a time, stirring as you do so. I'm often in a hurry and add a lot of milk at a time. It's fine, the dish still tastes good, but if you can slow down and really stir and heat the milk with the flour mixture the sauce really comes together and thickens wonderfully, instead of a thinner sauce. You should add the milk, see the mixture thicken and bubble and then add a little more milk, stirring, stirring. Add the shredded cheese, stir until it's melted then pour the cauliflower/rice mixture into the sauce pot and toss it together, making sure to cover the rice mixture with the sauce. The cheddar cheese we've been in love with for the last year is the Oscar Wilde cheddar. It is so delicious! It works wonderfully as nibble cheese, on its own or with fig or berry jam, and also in cooking. Yum! You can add the parmesan at the end and stir to mix, leaving some delightful chunks of it.

Put in a greased 9 x 13 baking dish and cook for twenty minutes at 400 degrees. It should be bubbly and smell of cheesy goodness. Then hit the broil for 1-2 minutes (don't let it burn!) and you're good to go!

 Casserole with the black eyed peas experiment

Ingredients

1 head cauliflower

2 cups brown rice, cooked (or cooked beans)

½ red onion, chopped

4 cloves garlic, minced

2 tablespoons butter

2 tablespoons flour

Salt and pepper

1 ½ cups milk

6-8 oz cheddar cheese, grated

½ - 1 cup parmesan cheese, grated

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Chop up or break apart cauliflower into bite size pieces. Cook in a microwave safe bowl for 4 minutes. Add your brown rice to the cauliflower and mix to distribute ingredients. Saute your onion in butter until it softens. Add your garlic and sauté that for a minute or so. Add the flour, salt and pepper to taste, and stir while cooking for 2-3 minutes. Slowly add your milk, whisking well as you go. Let the sauce thicken then add your grated cheddar cheese, stir to combine and melt the cheese. Take sauce off burner and add parmesan, stir to combine. Pour sauce over cauliflower/brown rice mixture and stir to combine. Add mixture to greased 9 x 13 baking dish and cook for 20 minutes. Broil for 1-2 minutes at the end for a browned and bubbly top.

Preparing Our Family For The Days of Awe

Preparing my family for the days of awe ... this time is not just about apples and honey and sweetness, but digging deeper, finding that AWE. I want to help my children find that connection too. Rosh Hashanah is one of my favorite holidays (ok, pretty much any holiday is my favorite for one reason or another!), filled with baking, sweets, beautiful sermons, and deep spirituality. When we shifted from adult services to the family services once Kalev was mobile and too loud for us to comfortably sit in the synagogue, I felt very disconnected and sad that I wasn’t finding that intense spirituality that I often associated with Rosh Hashanah. This was the time of year that I always chose to do my new year’s resolutions, a time when I actually had time to think and feel and discover what is important to me and what I want to change for the next year. I want to grasp that feeling now and help communicate it with my son (and daughter as she grows up). What are some ways that a family can take this deeper step? I've been struggling with finding books and activities, any resources that go beyond the basic apples and honey schtick that are suitable for a preschooler. Where's the awe here?

Apples Apple Apples!

Even though I've been trying to find ways to go DEEP, I knew we still had to cover the basics this year. You have to have lots of apples on Rosh Hashanah and this year was the first year we schlepped to Apple Hill to pick our own apples for the holiday. It was so much fun! We were really worried that we wouldn’t be able to go because Apple Hill is so close to the awful King Fire. It was hazy and you could smell the fire in the air but it was still a really lovely and fun time for everyone. We picked apples at two different orchards, tried some tasty apple treats (the apple donut from Rainbow Orchards was our favorite but the Apple Pie Sundae from Denver Dan’s was really good too. And the apple cider pop was refreshing as well … hmm this is making me hungry again!), took home some cider and let the kids run around orchards and hay bales. We met another Jewish family at Denver Dan’s who have been coming to Apple Hill for Rosh Hashanah apple picking for years. It was neat to see how their older sons knew exactly which apple trees to try first—a glimpse into our apple picking future I think! I was worried Aviella would be bored, but she loved wandering around the orchards and picnic areas and even snatched an apple from the bucket and bit into it! I traded that choke-worry apple for an apple cider pop and she was in heaven. We stopped for a couple picnics and even brought out the Rosh Hashanah books so we could read stories as we ate our apple treats. One of the books was even about apple picking and making applesauce—pretty applicable! We all had a great time and I loved how Kalev looked at the apples when we got home and said “Those are the apples we picked! Can we go next year?” Yes, a tradition has been born!

What To Do With All These Apples?

During our Apple Hill adventure, I explained how we were going to make applesauce (recipe here) and honey cake (recipe here) to give to his teachers, sharing sweet wishes for the new year. Kalev absolutely loves his teachers so he talked about being able to do that while we did the picking. He was also supposed to be my cooking helper. But when it came down to it he wasn’t really that interested and would rather play with his cars. He did sniff appreciatively and comment how good the house smelled. But he thought the applesauce was too hot to help stir and mash. Maybe next year! He also enjoyed coloring the super quick and easy apple cards we made. I'm pretty sure he gets the whole apple and Rosh Hashanah connection. He also loves the Fountainheads "Dip your apple" song so he's been singing that the last couple days. Music can often be the best teacher! Kalev was so excited to give the gifts to his teachers at school this morning (“Teacher Kathleen gets the pink bag because she loves pink!”) so I think he also understands the fun and joy of giving others sweet treats to bring in a sweet new year for his friends. But I still wanted MORE. I wanted to include something that is more than just sweetness, because the holiday itself is sweet, but very introspective. Deep thoughts are supposed to happen during this time. What do we regret? What are we sorry for? What do we want to change for next year? So I came up with another little idea that he actually really caught onto, yay!

 Apparently Teacher Kathleen and I have the same obsession with talenti. It's the best. And the best containers. So it's like I have to keep buying more so I can use the containers ... right? ;-)

Saying I’m Sorry With Crayons

I quickly put together a little coloring book that explains, super briefly, what Rosh Hashanah is and leaves room for Kalev to think of his own answers to the question “What are you sorry for this past year?” And there’s lots of room for coloring because this kid has been on a coloring kick ever since we moved to the new house. I read the book to him and we talked about what being sorry means and I wrote down his answers. Most of them are about things that happened yesterday but hey, got to squeeze in whatever regrets you can before the deadline ;-) The plan is to take the book to Tashlich tomorrow and read it again before he tosses his “regrets” into the pond. We’ll see how that goes! He is very excited about the ducks going after his pieces of bread. This little activity helped me feel like I started to scratch below the surface of just apples and honey and get into some stickier (pun intended) stuff. Saying your sorry and thinking about your regrets is really hard, for a preschooler or an adult. So I'm glad we did this and I think it helped him think of the holiday in this way as well as just eating sweet treats and singing fun songs.

 How cute are his drawings?! There's a skid steer in there with a scoop on the first page. I think it's scooping up the apple.

But …

But I am still looking for my deep connection, for myself and some more for Kalev. Helping Kalev prepare the sweet food and gifts, and talk about sorries and regrets was all good, but I am still yearning for more. It doesn’t really help that the two days leading up to Erev Rosh Hashanah I was a monster. I had been priding myself on my awesome rhythm then I lost it in the busyness, stress, and distraction of the week of to-do lists. A friend commented that now I have something to repent (believe me I already have enough on that list! ;-)), and I was obviously very able to model to Kalev saying I'm sorry and sharing what regrets and sorries I'd cast during Tashlich, but it was a horrible feeling. How could I stop the busyness and guilt and movement to dig deep for Rosh Hashanah when I didn't have that adult service connection? Then I came across this article. It definitely gave me something to think about. So ok, back to the core. The main points. Asking for forgiveness. Thinking about ways to help others. Being with my family. Starting the new year as a family, with sweetness, a clean slate, and most of all, hope. And in the busyness of life, when there’s so much clammering around in my head, concentrating on these core points seems like a pretty good way to pause, think about this holiday, hug my children, and act on the idea of trying to do better in this upcoming year. Is this where I need to be now? Accept that I won't be on that same deep level that I used to be, but going back to the basics and focusing on the main points, and teaching those core points to my children? It's something. I don't think it's completely where I want, or need, to be but it's a start. So, for now, I will work on being ok with skipping adult services tonight, waiting to make the round challah until tomorrow, eating a yummy apple dinner tonight (recipe here! It's one of our favorites. Doubled of course. Because we like to eat a lot), and dipping apples in honey with my children as we read PJ library books and listen to these awesome Rosh Hashanah songs (and this one too) on youtube. I'm looking forward to family services and Tashlich tomorrow, hoping for a few minutes to find that deeper place (I'm pretty sure I won't find any quiet!). If anyone has ideas for easy ways to dig deeper with young children, I'd love to hear them and see if they can fit for our family right now :-) But for now, L'Shanah tovah! May we all have a sweet and healthy new year.

Rosh Hashanah Applesauce

Mmmm ... a perfect way to eat the yummy apples picked from Apple Hill and share some sweetness with teachers, friends, and family.

20 apples
1 cup sugar
1 cup water
Juice from 1 lemon
Cinnamon to taste

Core and chop up apples, smaller dice means quicker cook time and easier to mash. Add apples, sugar and water to a pot. Bring to a boil, then simmer for 20 minutes. Add lemon juice and cinnamon while apple mixture is cooking. Test at 20 minutes. If apples are tender start mashing to the degree of smoothness you desire (we like ours chunky). If the apples aren't mashable yet, cook until you can mash with a potato masher or back of a spoon. Shanah tovah!

Eat: More zucchini patties please!

Kalev's zucchini patty, bite already taken

We've been joking lately that with all this amazing local, organic fruit that Kalev has become a fruitarian, with some cheese and crackers on the side. But last week he said "Ima, can I have another zucchini patty?" Say what?! I have made various zucchini tots from recipes over the last year or so and while I've thought they were okay, Kalev had no interest. But this time I just put some ingredients together myself and apparently it was a hit. I've made them three times since, per his request. When a preschooler asks for more vegetables you listen :-) Actually, when I can find a vegetable snack I truly enjoy, I listen too. I will be honest that I think these are best fresh out of the oven but Kalev doesn't mind them being reheated. Toaster is better than microwave. He'd even eat them cold.

The key to this version is the sesame seeds. The other versions I've tried all seemed more mushy. I think the bread crumbs and the sesame seeds add more texture and crunch, not to mention taste and nutrients (some iron and calcium, among other nutrients, which is always great to find for vegetarians).

This snack is quick to make and most parts can involve your little helper. Kalev loves watching the food processor work and also really enjoys stirring. And anything that involves scooping and dumping is always a plus. It can also be easily made with a baby in a front pack, or held on the hip, except for molding the patties. And for me, cracking the eggs. My husband has gotten the crack-one-egg-while-holding-baby skill down.

I didn't measure when we made them, and had to change the amounts when Kalev asked for them two days later and I had less zucchini. So it can really be up to you and what taste and texture works for you. Always good when you don't have to follow a recipe exactly and things still turn out fine :-)

For us, the recipe looked mostly like:

4 zucchinis

1.5 c shredded cheddar cheese

3/4 c bread crumbs

1/2 c sesame seeds

Salt

Pepper

2 eggs

Grate zucchini. We always leave skins on and use our food processor. It takes about 10 seconds. Combine zucchini and the rest of the ingredients in a bowl. Add more of whatever you want (we really like cheese mmmmm). Scoop balls of mix into your hands, then flatten gently and place on oiled cookie sheet. Cook at 400 degrees for 15 minutes. Yum!

Pause: Ima, What Does Death Mean?

One of those tough questions kids ask has come up again and again over the past few months in our house as multiple friends have been touched by the loss of loved ones. In various forms —

Ima, what does death mean? 

How do you explain death to a three and a half year old? I don't have a good answer. I think a large part of this is because I am so uncomfortable and scared of death myself. I don't handle it well. I can offer hugs and prayers and food but the deeper stuff, the emotional recognition of what happened, I tend not to want to touch myself. 

So how to explain a concept like death while also cultivating the emotional recognition of needing to grieve, to be uncomfortable, to be unhappy when all you want in the world is to make your child feel safe and loved?

I'm trying not to hide from it. Kalev and I have talked about it but I don't think I'm giving really good or satisfying answers, for either of us. We have prayed for our friends, for the families of the boys killed in Israel, and Kalev has asked God to help these people. I assume he says this because he has heard me ask God for this kind of assistance before. As part of our general parenting philosophy, Matt and I believe in modeling ourselves what we want Kalev to do so it makes sense that if we want Kalev to be comfortable praying to God about death and talking about death with others we first need to model how that looks. So I plan to continue modeling talking about how these friends are sad and hurting and that they welcome our thoughts and prayers, colored pictures and hugs. 

But when he asked if my friend’s daddy is coming back ... No sweetie, he isn't. When does the understanding sink in? We are going to the funeral Saturday. Will he understand what's going on? Will he get why everyone in the church is permeated with sadness? He will sense it, how could he not?, but to really understand what it means for someone to be there one day then not ever again, I don't know when that understanding comes. And for us parents, I don’t know how to strike that balance between sharing on one hand and allowing a degree of fear to enter into his life on the other (we can't live in a bubble after all) without letting the fear of death swamp him (Am I going to die? Are you going to die? If someone is sick will they die?). 

For some guidance I turned to google, as I often do. Here are some of the articles I found helpful:

http://www.reformjudaism.org/talking-children-about-death-0

http://judaism.about.com/od/beliefsandlaw1/f/child_expdeath.htm

I also checked with Dr. Laura Markham from Aha! Parenting, my parenting guru. Some of her thoughts can be found at: http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/raise-great-kids/emotionally-intelligent-child/kids-mourn-loss-grief-bereavement-death

So it sounds like directness and honesty is needed, stating that death is final and can’t be undone or changed, unlike being sick or sleeping. Acknowledge their fears and ensure that they still feel safe and secure. Sit with them through their grief if they need it (Kalev is more removed from these deaths so I haven’t noticed any grief, but I do anticipate some fear and confusion).

All that is well and fine but I want more (don’t we always?). Since thoughts of my friends’ grief have really remained in my heart and mind these past few weeks I’ve really been thinking about this topic a lot. I’ve found appreciation for how our Jewish tradition of saying Kaddish (the mourners’ prayer) can perhaps provide something with that added connection that I’ve been searching for. The Reform Judaism article describes this connection well when it defines the Kaddish as: “Prayer that is part of every service that people say to honor the memory of a loved one. Prayer does not mention death, rather praises God, reminding that we mourn now and have sadness, life is god and that love and joy can be our again.” I feel the repetition of this prayer shows the importance of thinking and honoring those that have passed away. And it does so in a communal way. I think it’s helpful to show our children that the whole community grieves with you when a family member or friend dies. I think as Kalev ages he can start to make this connection and feel part of a community of mourners, doing his part by saying the prayer even when it’s not for someone he knows personally.

From the articles I mentioned above I found two passages especially meaningful and which I want to incorporate into our family discussion and how we view death:

“Our tradition stresses that joy and pain, happiness and tears are parts of life. In every prayer service, at every Festival, at every wedding we remember those who died, reminding ourselves that even amidst celebration we are aware of the potential for loss and the contributions of those no longer with us. Similarly at a funeral service or a shiva, it is natural for there to be tremendous sadness and tears but we also stress the need and healthiness of turning back to life, to being able to love again and to find happiness again.” http://www.reformjudaism.org/talking-children-about-death-0

“Whatever beliefs we may hold about eternal life, our tradition most stresses that our memories never die. The person we loved is dead, we are sad, we will always remember that person and the life and the love we have shared.” http://www.reformjudaism.org/talking-children-about-death-0

I wonder, have you talked to your children about death? Prepped them before a funeral so they knew what to expect and what was going on?

Most of the time I look down at my son and want to preserve his innocence, cuddling him close and hoping that his happiness and trust in life remains strong. But I know that it is my responsibility to prepare him for life, to give him the tools in which to live contently and well, and part of that is learning how to handle grief. So I need to figure out a way to honor this responsibility while honoring his needs. And always honoring those that are directly experiencing the loss and the memory of those that have left us.

Karen, Kathryn, Sandy, Alysa, Mary we hold you and your families in our hearts and minds. We still struggle to understand what’s going on, how to talk about it and let you know how we feel, but we are thinking of you. May the memory of your loved ones forever be a blessing.