Preparing Our Family For The Days of Awe

Preparing my family for the days of awe ... this time is not just about apples and honey and sweetness, but digging deeper, finding that AWE. I want to help my children find that connection too. Rosh Hashanah is one of my favorite holidays (ok, pretty much any holiday is my favorite for one reason or another!), filled with baking, sweets, beautiful sermons, and deep spirituality. When we shifted from adult services to the family services once Kalev was mobile and too loud for us to comfortably sit in the synagogue, I felt very disconnected and sad that I wasn’t finding that intense spirituality that I often associated with Rosh Hashanah. This was the time of year that I always chose to do my new year’s resolutions, a time when I actually had time to think and feel and discover what is important to me and what I want to change for the next year. I want to grasp that feeling now and help communicate it with my son (and daughter as she grows up). What are some ways that a family can take this deeper step? I've been struggling with finding books and activities, any resources that go beyond the basic apples and honey schtick that are suitable for a preschooler. Where's the awe here?

Apples Apple Apples!

Even though I've been trying to find ways to go DEEP, I knew we still had to cover the basics this year. You have to have lots of apples on Rosh Hashanah and this year was the first year we schlepped to Apple Hill to pick our own apples for the holiday. It was so much fun! We were really worried that we wouldn’t be able to go because Apple Hill is so close to the awful King Fire. It was hazy and you could smell the fire in the air but it was still a really lovely and fun time for everyone. We picked apples at two different orchards, tried some tasty apple treats (the apple donut from Rainbow Orchards was our favorite but the Apple Pie Sundae from Denver Dan’s was really good too. And the apple cider pop was refreshing as well … hmm this is making me hungry again!), took home some cider and let the kids run around orchards and hay bales. We met another Jewish family at Denver Dan’s who have been coming to Apple Hill for Rosh Hashanah apple picking for years. It was neat to see how their older sons knew exactly which apple trees to try first—a glimpse into our apple picking future I think! I was worried Aviella would be bored, but she loved wandering around the orchards and picnic areas and even snatched an apple from the bucket and bit into it! I traded that choke-worry apple for an apple cider pop and she was in heaven. We stopped for a couple picnics and even brought out the Rosh Hashanah books so we could read stories as we ate our apple treats. One of the books was even about apple picking and making applesauce—pretty applicable! We all had a great time and I loved how Kalev looked at the apples when we got home and said “Those are the apples we picked! Can we go next year?” Yes, a tradition has been born!

What To Do With All These Apples?

During our Apple Hill adventure, I explained how we were going to make applesauce (recipe here) and honey cake (recipe here) to give to his teachers, sharing sweet wishes for the new year. Kalev absolutely loves his teachers so he talked about being able to do that while we did the picking. He was also supposed to be my cooking helper. But when it came down to it he wasn’t really that interested and would rather play with his cars. He did sniff appreciatively and comment how good the house smelled. But he thought the applesauce was too hot to help stir and mash. Maybe next year! He also enjoyed coloring the super quick and easy apple cards we made. I'm pretty sure he gets the whole apple and Rosh Hashanah connection. He also loves the Fountainheads "Dip your apple" song so he's been singing that the last couple days. Music can often be the best teacher! Kalev was so excited to give the gifts to his teachers at school this morning (“Teacher Kathleen gets the pink bag because she loves pink!”) so I think he also understands the fun and joy of giving others sweet treats to bring in a sweet new year for his friends. But I still wanted MORE. I wanted to include something that is more than just sweetness, because the holiday itself is sweet, but very introspective. Deep thoughts are supposed to happen during this time. What do we regret? What are we sorry for? What do we want to change for next year? So I came up with another little idea that he actually really caught onto, yay!

 Apparently Teacher Kathleen and I have the same obsession with talenti. It's the best. And the best containers. So it's like I have to keep buying more so I can use the containers ... right? ;-)

Saying I’m Sorry With Crayons

I quickly put together a little coloring book that explains, super briefly, what Rosh Hashanah is and leaves room for Kalev to think of his own answers to the question “What are you sorry for this past year?” And there’s lots of room for coloring because this kid has been on a coloring kick ever since we moved to the new house. I read the book to him and we talked about what being sorry means and I wrote down his answers. Most of them are about things that happened yesterday but hey, got to squeeze in whatever regrets you can before the deadline ;-) The plan is to take the book to Tashlich tomorrow and read it again before he tosses his “regrets” into the pond. We’ll see how that goes! He is very excited about the ducks going after his pieces of bread. This little activity helped me feel like I started to scratch below the surface of just apples and honey and get into some stickier (pun intended) stuff. Saying your sorry and thinking about your regrets is really hard, for a preschooler or an adult. So I'm glad we did this and I think it helped him think of the holiday in this way as well as just eating sweet treats and singing fun songs.

 How cute are his drawings?! There's a skid steer in there with a scoop on the first page. I think it's scooping up the apple.

But …

But I am still looking for my deep connection, for myself and some more for Kalev. Helping Kalev prepare the sweet food and gifts, and talk about sorries and regrets was all good, but I am still yearning for more. It doesn’t really help that the two days leading up to Erev Rosh Hashanah I was a monster. I had been priding myself on my awesome rhythm then I lost it in the busyness, stress, and distraction of the week of to-do lists. A friend commented that now I have something to repent (believe me I already have enough on that list! ;-)), and I was obviously very able to model to Kalev saying I'm sorry and sharing what regrets and sorries I'd cast during Tashlich, but it was a horrible feeling. How could I stop the busyness and guilt and movement to dig deep for Rosh Hashanah when I didn't have that adult service connection? Then I came across this article. It definitely gave me something to think about. So ok, back to the core. The main points. Asking for forgiveness. Thinking about ways to help others. Being with my family. Starting the new year as a family, with sweetness, a clean slate, and most of all, hope. And in the busyness of life, when there’s so much clammering around in my head, concentrating on these core points seems like a pretty good way to pause, think about this holiday, hug my children, and act on the idea of trying to do better in this upcoming year. Is this where I need to be now? Accept that I won't be on that same deep level that I used to be, but going back to the basics and focusing on the main points, and teaching those core points to my children? It's something. I don't think it's completely where I want, or need, to be but it's a start. So, for now, I will work on being ok with skipping adult services tonight, waiting to make the round challah until tomorrow, eating a yummy apple dinner tonight (recipe here! It's one of our favorites. Doubled of course. Because we like to eat a lot), and dipping apples in honey with my children as we read PJ library books and listen to these awesome Rosh Hashanah songs (and this one too) on youtube. I'm looking forward to family services and Tashlich tomorrow, hoping for a few minutes to find that deeper place (I'm pretty sure I won't find any quiet!). If anyone has ideas for easy ways to dig deeper with young children, I'd love to hear them and see if they can fit for our family right now :-) But for now, L'Shanah tovah! May we all have a sweet and healthy new year.

Rosh Hashanah Applesauce

Mmmm ... a perfect way to eat the yummy apples picked from Apple Hill and share some sweetness with teachers, friends, and family.

20 apples
1 cup sugar
1 cup water
Juice from 1 lemon
Cinnamon to taste

Core and chop up apples, smaller dice means quicker cook time and easier to mash. Add apples, sugar and water to a pot. Bring to a boil, then simmer for 20 minutes. Add lemon juice and cinnamon while apple mixture is cooking. Test at 20 minutes. If apples are tender start mashing to the degree of smoothness you desire (we like ours chunky). If the apples aren't mashable yet, cook until you can mash with a potato masher or back of a spoon. Shanah tovah!